Swipe Left

Boy adds girl on Facebook.

Girl hesitantly accepts friend request, because their paths crossed at some point in life.

Within 3 days boy messages girl:
Hey
Hi
Hi how are you?
Hey Caitlin, how are u
Hi new Facebook friend! lol

My personal favorite:
You look really familiar. Do we know one another, or maybe met in the past?

1. You added me.
2. We both grew up in Eldon.
3. You added me.
4. It would take 10 seconds of looking on Facebook to know we both grew up in Eldon. You don't even really have to creep on me to find that.
5. You added me.

It's no secret I'm 27 and single, but if those are the guys I have to choose from, to quote Ariana Grande, "Thank u, next!"

I'm an old soul, so the idea of finding a match online has never appealed to me. (If you found your spouse online that is great and I don't judge you; it's just not for me!) But if you're going to try at least make the message (pick-up line? If any of those can be called that) worth my time.

At this point in my life, I feel like I could write a book about my dating (or attempted date) experiences. The Facebook messages don't even begin to scratch the surface. I should probably come up with a pseudonym. Unlike Taylor Swift, I don't want my exes/non-exes publicly humiliated. Plus, a lot of my stories I have to articulate very carefully because they could easily make me look like a home-wrecker in which case I have never been.

For the few who read my blog, here's a not so brief synopsis, pre-pseudonym...

The first time a boy told me he loved me, he was engaged and 6 weeks away from his wedding day. A married guy, whose wife was 9 months pregnant, once sent me a 6 page text specifically complimenting absolutely everything I would ever want a guy to give me a compliment about. And I have the uncanny ability to go on dates with guys who send me 8 page hand-written letters, texts, or Facebook messages informing me of all the things I did wrong and begging me not to end things.

Please, don't get me wrong. Those first 2 things broke me and made me feel like I should wear a paper bag over my head. But I can say with a very clear conscience that I did absolutely nothing wrong, nor was I EVER the other woman, and I didn't lead anyone on. I also followed the woman code and terrifyingly talked face-to-face with the fiancé and wife.

With that said, I was left thinking, HOW is this real life? How is this MY life? The girls on my dorm floor helped give me a sense of humor about it all. Lovingly and jokingly they called me a home-wrecker. They would also say out of all the girls on our floor they would have voted me least likely to be in either of those situations. At the time, I had never even had a boyfriend! Yet somehow I found myself there not once, but twice! Never in a million years did I think I would be thankful for knowing how to handle an engaged man telling me he loved me. Nevertheless, going through those emotions came in handy later.

Love, especially marriage, is a serious matter and not anything to be taken lightly, but when forced into situations I didn't bring upon myself I had to keep a sense of humor. And in the last 7 years, God hasn't struck me with lightning for doing so. And for however long it is I remain single, I'll continue to "swipe left" to the pick-up lines boys send me on Facebook.